How to deal with your 'almond mom' (or fam that crosses your food boundaries!)
As an intuitive eating coach, I’ve heard countless stories from my clients about their family members who just can’t seem to respect their food choices. You know the ones - the “almond moms” who insist on pushing their own food preferences onto their children or other family members.
The term “almond mom” refers to a mother who is hyper-focused on healthy eating to the point of obsession. These moms may be well-intentioned, but their obsession with healthy eating can often be harmful to their loved ones’ mental and physical health.
If you’re dealing with an almond mom or any family member who crosses your food boundaries, know that you’re not alone. Here are a few key tips for re-affirming your boundaries around what you do and don’t put in your own stomach.
1. Be Clear About Your Boundaries
The first step in dealing with an almond mom is to be clear about your boundaries. Let her know that you respect her choices, but that you have your own food preferences and boundaries that you’d like her to respect as well. Use kind and helpful language to express your needs, such as "I appreciate your concern for my health, but I prefer to eat foods that make me feel good" or "I've learned that my body responds best to a variety of foods in moderation." By communicating your needs in a gentle and respectful way, you can establish boundaries around what you're comfortable eating and avoid any unnecessary conflicts. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and to speak up for yourself in a loving and respectful way.
2. Stand Firm in Your Choices
Once you’ve established your boundaries, it’s important to stand firm in your choices. This can be especially challenging if you’re dealing with a parent or other family member who has always had a lot of influence over your life. Remember that you are an adult now and have the right to make your own decisions about what you put in your body. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed for your choices.
3. Communicate in a Calm and Respectful Manner
It’s important to communicate with your almond mom or other family member in a calm and respectful manner. Avoid getting defensive or angry - this will only escalate the situation. Instead, take a deep breath and try to approach the conversation in a calm and rational way. Let her know that you understand where she’s coming from, but that you have your own beliefs and values around food that are important to you.
4. Offer Alternative Solutions
If your almond mom is insistent on cooking for you or providing you with food, offer alternative solutions. For example, you could suggest that you bring your own food to family gatherings or that you cook together and each bring a dish that meets your individual dietary preferences. This way, everyone can enjoy the meal without compromising their own food boundaries.
5. Seek Support from a Professional
Dealing with an almond mom or any family member who crosses your food boundaries can be challenging and emotionally draining. If you’re struggling to establish and maintain your boundaries, seek support from a professional. A therapist or intuitive eating coach can help you navigate these difficult conversations and develop strategies for communicating your needs effectively.
Remember, you have the right to make your own choices about what you put in your body. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed for your choices. By being clear about your boundaries, standing firm in your choices, communicating in a calm and respectful manner, offering alternative solutions, and seeking support from a professional, you can successfully navigate your relationship with your almond mom or any other family member who crosses your food boundaries.