Weight Neutrality - Should You Care…Less?
Don’t you just wish that you could heal your relationship to food, eat like a normal person, AND be skinny? Yeah, I said it…because I get it: you want to be skinny. Me too. And that’s not a crime.
Today’s ‘body positivity’ movement has engrained in us this weird sense of guilt & shame for wanting to be…well…not fat. We fear being fat, and now, we fear people finding out about it. It’s as if we are all pretending that we’re all absolutely fine with all bodies - and praying inside that ours just so happens to get (or remain) slim.
God forbid we admit that…actually…I don’t just want a ‘healthy’ body - I want to be, indeed, skinny. Downright slim. No fat. No excess. Lean and sexy and fit…but don’t sing it from the rooftops - you’ll be “feeding into diet culture” or “triggering” or simply scolded for not practicing “self-love”.
I call BS.
There’s this ‘concept’ I’m hearing some of the women I jump on discovery calls with…many of them have already done some of the healing as it relates to their relationship to food…but…there’s apparently a catch (& it’s disturbing + turning them right OFF of intuitive eating).
They’re being told that they need to get onboard this ‘Weight Neutrality’ approach instead.
WTF?
So, I looked it up, and according to Google: weight neutrality means defining "health" with a wider lens than body weight, and it moves beyond weight or thinness as the main health goal. Weight-neutral healthcare includes no conversations about diet, weight loss, or body negativity, and no recommendations of weight loss as a cure for physical health issues (1).
This essentially sounds like gaslighting to me. Instead of actually addressing the problem (yes, carrying EXCESS weight - especially when you’d rather not and KNOW you’d feel a heck of a lot better without it) - you’re being sold that it’s not even a problem…
Um…okay?
Not helpful IMHO.
Instead, I’d love us to entertain real AF conversation around what it’ll take to DROP that excess that you’ve built up (likely through years of yo-yo dieting…ugh, been there!). Here’s where I get to piss you off again…this journey will indeed involve HUNGER. Yup, I said it! You’re not going to magically tap into your reserves and release your fat storage by simply ‘just eating the foods you love and never feeling hungry’ - while that sounds fine & dandy, and is certainly a recipe for mental peace & freedom…it unfortunately does not align with weight-loss, sorry babe.
The good news? Hunger doesn’t have to be scary. It is SEPARATE from a very scary state you might be oh too familiar with: deprivation. This is a fear-based energetic state in which we restrict using our heads and essentially try to punish ourselves into “eating less/better” for the sake of losing weight…which we all know only works in the short-term - if at all. The body always wins, and we eventually revert back to ‘old ways’ that keep us feeling stuck and bogged down…& repeat.
I always get my clients to start by OWNING their desires - think of this like your own version of your ‘Skinny Bitch’ highest self, and then we figure out what limiting beliefs are operating which are causing them to eat how I call “out of order” - which is what I label eating that is done outside of hunger and/or PAST the point of satiating balance.
Consider this for a moment: if you only ever ate when you were TRULY hungry AND only the amount that would satiate (not stuff) you…could you lose weight? Yes. Would that mean you’d be HUNGRY? Yes. In fact, you’ll likely be hungry MULTIPLE times per day. That is healthy - that means your body is ready to digest food, hooray!
Rather than avoid hunger altogether, or paint the picture that “going hungry” is an act of self-hate…what if we could realize arriving at hunger is actually an act of self-love?
Dare I say, that your desire to lose weight is also an act of self-love…it’s a yearning for a body & a life that aligns with your truest, most CONNECTED (& not buffered!) self. Time to step into THAT self babe! You can do it, and hunger will be your pathway there.
If you’d like to learn more about working with me and how my structured recording method works, I’d love to invite you to apply for my 10/10 program so that you can start by booking us in for a zero-obligation (no stress) discovery chat.